They're called 'instalments' because they're too short to be called 'chapers'
So here is the second instalment! I hope you enjoy this, please feel free to leave comments about it!
And remember, I don't like obsess over this and edit and edit and edit like if I was writing a real book. Mostly what's getting put up is the first 'draft' and I haven't edited it much less read it twice.
So if there are mistakes sorry, feel free to point them out!
Also I'm introducing a new character and I just know that he's going to create questions so if you have one (or many) please comment and ask, I love answering questions!
Second Generation Demigods
Instalment 2
One look inside and Mallory could tell that she was not
going to fit in in this cabin.
All the campers had the same blonde hair that Charles had. With her unruly black hair she’d stick out like a sore thumb. At least she had the same grey eyes. It seemed that blonde hair and grey eyes were the Athena standard. Neither she nor Charles completely fit the bill. Charles had the hair but his eyes were the same sea green as his fathers, and Mallory had grey eyes like her mother and all the Athena campers but her hair did not match. While Charles blended in well there was no hope for Mallory
“Charles!” called one of the girls inside, “Come on in, who’s this small one you brought us?”
“Lucy, this is my baby sister Mallory.” Said Charles, “Mallory, this is Lucy, the head counselor for cabin six.”
“Nice to meet you,” said Lucy, “So are you going to be bunking here with us or over with your brother in cabin three?”
“I, um, I’m going to be staying here for this month. I’m going to switch back and forth like Charles does.” Mallory said, trying to hide her sudden nervousness.
“That’s wise, that way you don’t offend either Poseidon or Athena by picking sides.”
“You know,” Charles cut in, “If you pick Athena now you won’t be sharing a cabin with me at all because we’ll be switching around.”
“Well, you got here a week before me so we’ll have a week together each time you switch.” Said Mallory.
“And maybe she doesn’t want to share a cabin with you.” Said Lucy, “She’s a smart one, I can tell.” She winked at Mallory.
“I’ve got it from here Charles,” she continued, “Just run off and do whatever you’re supposed to be doing.”
Charles shrugged, “Have fun Mallory, I’ll see you at dinner.” Then he turned and left.
“You can have this bunk here, it’s one of the only ones open. If you don’t want a top bunk you’ll have to sleep next to Matt and he sleep-farts.” Lucy told Mallory.
“Top’s fine.” Mallory murmured as she slung her bag up, she’d unpack later. She turned and faced Lucy, “I already know my way around camp so you don’t need to give me a tour.”
“Okay then, if you have any questions feel free to ask. Don’t be late for dinner or you’ll get a bad seat.”
“Next to Matt?” Mallory guessed.
“You catch on so fast!” exclaimed Lucy. “I like you already.”
All the campers had the same blonde hair that Charles had. With her unruly black hair she’d stick out like a sore thumb. At least she had the same grey eyes. It seemed that blonde hair and grey eyes were the Athena standard. Neither she nor Charles completely fit the bill. Charles had the hair but his eyes were the same sea green as his fathers, and Mallory had grey eyes like her mother and all the Athena campers but her hair did not match. While Charles blended in well there was no hope for Mallory
“Charles!” called one of the girls inside, “Come on in, who’s this small one you brought us?”
“Lucy, this is my baby sister Mallory.” Said Charles, “Mallory, this is Lucy, the head counselor for cabin six.”
“Nice to meet you,” said Lucy, “So are you going to be bunking here with us or over with your brother in cabin three?”
“I, um, I’m going to be staying here for this month. I’m going to switch back and forth like Charles does.” Mallory said, trying to hide her sudden nervousness.
“That’s wise, that way you don’t offend either Poseidon or Athena by picking sides.”
“You know,” Charles cut in, “If you pick Athena now you won’t be sharing a cabin with me at all because we’ll be switching around.”
“Well, you got here a week before me so we’ll have a week together each time you switch.” Said Mallory.
“And maybe she doesn’t want to share a cabin with you.” Said Lucy, “She’s a smart one, I can tell.” She winked at Mallory.
“I’ve got it from here Charles,” she continued, “Just run off and do whatever you’re supposed to be doing.”
Charles shrugged, “Have fun Mallory, I’ll see you at dinner.” Then he turned and left.
“You can have this bunk here, it’s one of the only ones open. If you don’t want a top bunk you’ll have to sleep next to Matt and he sleep-farts.” Lucy told Mallory.
“Top’s fine.” Mallory murmured as she slung her bag up, she’d unpack later. She turned and faced Lucy, “I already know my way around camp so you don’t need to give me a tour.”
“Okay then, if you have any questions feel free to ask. Don’t be late for dinner or you’ll get a bad seat.”
“Next to Matt?” Mallory guessed.
“You catch on so fast!” exclaimed Lucy. “I like you already.”
Mallory walked toward the Big House,
hoping to say hi to Chiron if he wasn’t too busy. He was like her centaur
uncle, and she loved him. She remembered
getting rides around camp from him when she was younger. To her good fortune he was up on the porch.
Probably waiting to greet new campers, since today was technically the first
day of camp and lots of kids both old and new would be arriving, though other
campers had arrived earlier, like Charles.
“Chiron!” she yelled as she ran up onto the porch.
“Mallory, my child you’ve gotten taller!” he said, “Are you here to stay the summer this year?”
“Yes I am, an inch taller and staying the whole entire summer.” She announced, “I’ve already got my things in the Athena cabin.”
“Distancing yourself from your brother I see.” Chiron said with a grin.
Mallory shrugged. “Maybe.” She turned and looked at Half-Blood hill. “I don’t think I need him.”
She expected Chiron to impart some unneeded words of wisdom but he was silent, looking at the hill as two figures walked over and stood at the top.
“Sorry that our chat has to be cut short but I have a new camper to greet.” Said Chiron.
“Understood.” Said Mallory.
She watched Chiron trot toward the hill, apparently he didn’t bother with human form for greeting anymore. She looked up at the people on the hill. She had assumed that both were new campers but now she could see that one was taller than the other. A parent maybe? She left the covered porch of the Big House and walked toward the hill for a better look. When she was closer she ducked behind a tree to watch. She didn’t really need to hide, but ever since she was little she had watched new campers come over the hill. And since she had to sneak away from her parents she always hid. It just felt natural to continue the habit even though she didn’t need to.
She wasn’t close enough to hear as Chiron talked to the new camper, a skinny boy, and a man who had to be his father, since they had the same inky black hair and olive skin.
The boy seemed to be arguing with his father. Eventually the father disappeared down the hill, into the mortal world, and Chiron came down into camp with the scowling boy.
“Now, Ben.” Chiron was saying as they came into earshot. “Your father didn’t have the best camp experience. That was before things changed here, before the children of all the gods were welcome here. I’m sure everyone will like you just fine.”
“Oh I’m not worried about being liked,” said the boy, Ben. “I just don’t like that my father is acting like a coward. He didn’t even give me a proper goodbye.”
“Your father has been through a lot, I most certainly would not call him a coward.” Scolded Chiron.
Ben said nothing, just kicked a pebble down the hill. And at that moment his sullen expression exactly matched the one his father’s face had had just moments ago.
“Chiron!” she yelled as she ran up onto the porch.
“Mallory, my child you’ve gotten taller!” he said, “Are you here to stay the summer this year?”
“Yes I am, an inch taller and staying the whole entire summer.” She announced, “I’ve already got my things in the Athena cabin.”
“Distancing yourself from your brother I see.” Chiron said with a grin.
Mallory shrugged. “Maybe.” She turned and looked at Half-Blood hill. “I don’t think I need him.”
She expected Chiron to impart some unneeded words of wisdom but he was silent, looking at the hill as two figures walked over and stood at the top.
“Sorry that our chat has to be cut short but I have a new camper to greet.” Said Chiron.
“Understood.” Said Mallory.
She watched Chiron trot toward the hill, apparently he didn’t bother with human form for greeting anymore. She looked up at the people on the hill. She had assumed that both were new campers but now she could see that one was taller than the other. A parent maybe? She left the covered porch of the Big House and walked toward the hill for a better look. When she was closer she ducked behind a tree to watch. She didn’t really need to hide, but ever since she was little she had watched new campers come over the hill. And since she had to sneak away from her parents she always hid. It just felt natural to continue the habit even though she didn’t need to.
She wasn’t close enough to hear as Chiron talked to the new camper, a skinny boy, and a man who had to be his father, since they had the same inky black hair and olive skin.
The boy seemed to be arguing with his father. Eventually the father disappeared down the hill, into the mortal world, and Chiron came down into camp with the scowling boy.
“Now, Ben.” Chiron was saying as they came into earshot. “Your father didn’t have the best camp experience. That was before things changed here, before the children of all the gods were welcome here. I’m sure everyone will like you just fine.”
“Oh I’m not worried about being liked,” said the boy, Ben. “I just don’t like that my father is acting like a coward. He didn’t even give me a proper goodbye.”
“Your father has been through a lot, I most certainly would not call him a coward.” Scolded Chiron.
Ben said nothing, just kicked a pebble down the hill. And at that moment his sullen expression exactly matched the one his father’s face had had just moments ago.
I really like this so far -- hope you continue :)
ReplyDeleteI thought Ben's father was going to be Luke...then I remembered Luke died ;)
My one piece of advice -- don't forget to include a conflict -- I know you're still doing an intro, but just don't forget - maybe a quest or something - and maybe we can meet Thalia's kids, or Grover and Juniper's, or Hedge and Mellie's son :D
Good Luck with writing this, and if you keep writing, I shall keep reading :D
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you like it so far. I am planning on including some sort of quest, what for, I don't know yet. I'm enjoying wwriting it, and my sister enjoys reading it then pointing out my mistakes.